


Now The Moon's Rising

by Feral_Pink_Punch



Category: Hip Hop RPF, Lil Peep (Musician) RPF, Music RPF, XXXTentacion (Musician) RPF
Genre: Anger, Angst, Bitter, Death, Depression, Flowers, Ghosts, Heartbreak, Hurt, M/M, Memories, Regret, Reminiscing, Sad, Sadness, Short One Shot, Slumptacion, sorry - Freeform, terrible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-24 01:27:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21091106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feral_Pink_Punch/pseuds/Feral_Pink_Punch
Summary: Stokeley dreadfully reminisces about a past relationship that left his significant other a numb corpse in the snow.





	Now The Moon's Rising

a purple haze hung onto the sky, its hues dripping into a golden yellow as it wrapped around the setting sun. A cold breeze ran through the tall grass blades, the water droplets sliding off of them, the aftermath of yesterday's storm, one look now and the trace of it, gone.

A gray hooded figure walked up the steep hill, his left hand dug deep in his pocket, his right gripping onto an item. His walk matched his heartbeat, slow, yet the pounding of it was loud and clear in his ears, a agonizing feeling surrounded him, it was far from new; that very feeling had become his unwanted best friend.

He met his destination soon, and from where he stood he could see it all, the trees swaying when that same breeze came rolling in, the city lights that started to glow as the sky descending into a deep blue- the purple and yellow barely visible, but most importantly, the love of his life, undoubtedly.

He sighed lowly, while sitting down upon the cold wet grass, of course it was tolerable, but what wasn't was the instant sense of his undesired presence at the sight of his past lover.

He cleared his throat, pulling down his hoodie, his free hand already found itself gripping onto the grass.

"hey..." a barely audible voice cut through the calming wind, "it's been a while since I last saw you...I brought you these" he lightly raised the bouquet of pale pink and purple peonys and roses.

"I left town a few months ago...I know, you probably didn't wanna hear that...but..." a crack in his voice towards the end, his heart becoming weak.

"I just-" he choked on his words unable to continue the sentence as the tears slid down his face.

"I just couldn't take it anymore...these people, it's like if they all knew... They haunted me"

"When I moved it stopped...but you never stopped...I know you never will, you live in my conscience."

"I don't mind it" he wiped the tears with his sleeve, clearing his throat. "I don't feel so alone at times"

"it's a four hour drive to get here...but I really don't care...no matter how faraway I go, I'll always come back to you"

"I ran into your sister yesterday, she wasn't happy to see me...then again who would be?" His grip on the grass tightened.

"She ran up to me crying, she never looked the same since, she looked so tired...so hurt, my heart almost gave out at the sight of her"

"I felt numb... And everything around me seemed to melt into a hot steam, it was almost like it wanted to asphyxiate me. Everything she said was muffled as were her cries...except for that dreaded word that every single one of our friends and your family labeled me as" he pulled the blades on the grass from their roots repeatedly, his shaky breath eased from with in.

"I never knew how much power a single word could hold" his words quiet like a secret kept from a multitude of an audience that surrounded the both of them.

The silence was static and it was unsettling. His dark eyes just stared straight ahead, his fingers unknowingly picked at the petals of a pale rose. Yet it stayed like that for roughly ten minutes and by the end of it the sky was now dark and the stars started to make their nightly appearance to be complemented.

his hand balled up around the bunched up stems of the flowers, it was finally time to release all the information of his visit, despite the pinching pain upon his palm that had just risen. He never looked away at the embossed vein on his wrist.

"There's another reason why I'm here..." The silence gone now and it was almost like a quiet wailing could be heard in the distance mixing in with the chirping crickets, his lips frowned but never did a cry leak from them, even though it hurt to admit.

"I met someone..."

"When I moved...I started over, no one knew about what happened and it felt good? Even though I deserve the worst...I don't deserve a single good thing in life, nor do I deserve to feel a little bit of joy...I know I should suffer, but baby, I was so tired... So mentally tired..."

"He knew nothing about me... About us...one day I'll tell him, when I'm old and dying because I don't want him to run away from me...I'm scared of what he'll think ...I don't want to hurt him the way I hurt you...I don't think I could live another day on this Earth if I accomplished that."

"It's rare but I sometimes see you in his smile..." "That same one you had on your pretty face when I would make you laugh or do the simplest things...I never gave you my time... You should of smiled more but I made you cry on the regular" he shook his head lightly, closing his eyes and seeing that smile so vaguely, an inaudible whisper soon followed. His bloodshot eyes opened and more tears fell to their death in the grass.

"When he holds my hand... I close my eyes and pretend it's you... I know I'm the fucking worst for it...but I love him...it's a change from what I've been feeling these past five years..."

"Please...just say something" he whispered, his fingers nails digging into the dirt, a voice filled of desperation and frustration.

"I'm so sorry..." he shook his head holding himself "I never should of left you... I knew how much you needed me and I left" 

"I should of replied when you messaged me for the last time" he threw his head back a yell leaving as he cried louder.

"I should of fucking been there when you took the blade to your neck"

"FUCK!" He yelled loudly but only to fall upon a sea of agony.

"God you must of hated me then..."

"i was never there...."

A grey hooded, sobbing figure outlined by the now risen moon..

"I never deserved you, I love you so much Jah, I'll never stop loving you"


End file.
